


the one without george lucas

by Alvar



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe, But also, Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Episode: s02e09 Raiders of the Lost Art, Established Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Getting Together, Haemophiliac Nate Heywood, Heart Surgeon Ray Palmer, Jewish Ray Palmer, M/M, My brain, POV Alternating, POV Nate Heywood, POV Ray Palmer, Yoga Instructor Nate Heywood, the ways in which i always write nate and mick as besties in every story abt the legends, you can probably guess by now what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27804304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alvar/pseuds/Alvar
Summary: The story of how a heart surgeon named Ray and a yoga instructor named Nate meet and fall in love (and ignore the weird dreams about time travel).
Relationships: Jefferson "Jax" Jackson & Ray Palmer, Nate Heywood & Mick Rory, Nate Heywood & Original Character(s), Nate Heywood & Team Legends, Nate Heywood/Ray Palmer, Ray Palmer & Original Character(s), Team Legends & Ray Palmer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	the one without george lucas

**Author's Note:**

> started writing this a year ago, found it again two weeks ago and decided to start over and finish it this time. hope you enjoy!
> 
> if there are any mistakes, feel free to tell me. english isn't my first language. also formatting might look a little weird, i tried to fix it as much as i could.

Ray needs coffee. After assuring the harried Mrs. Smith that her wifes surgery went absolutely fine, he feels like he deserves it. Ray sighs and stands up from his desk. He stops in front of the coffee machine in front of his office. This coffee is somewhat horrendous and Ray turns right, heading to the cafeteria instead. Ray admits that the hospital cafeteria doesn’t have great coffee, but at least it’s better than the coffee machine. Ray moves through the halls, already contemplating if he’s going to cook dinner or order take-out when his shift is over. Ray loves his job– he really does– but the idea of curling up on the couch with his cat Atom makes him just a little homesick. Yes, his cat is called Atom, she’s a small cat and it’s not a stupid name, _mom_. The hospital is pretty quiet today (as quiet as hospitals can be) and the cafeteria is almost empty when Ray arrives. He spots a nurse at a table in the corner and three doctors by the door. There is a couple near the vending machine, seemingly waiting for someone. Ray makes his way to the counter, stepping in line behind a guy who is ordering. A pretty cute guy, Ray might add. He’s patting his pockets, his brows furrowed and– really such an annoyed expression should never be on a face like that. 

“What the hell did I do with that thing?” Cute Mystery Man mutters. “Shi- I’m sorry, give me a minute, I can’t find my wallet.” 

“Cassy, I got his drink.” Ray interjects, surprising even himself at the quick offer. The man looks up and stares at him for a second, he tilts his head and a small smile comes onto his face. A _really_ cute guy.

“Sure thing, Ray. You want your regular?” Cassy asks.

“Yeah, thanks.” Ray answers and Cassy turns around to prepare their drinks. 

The Cute Mystery Man (with pretty eyes) (Ray, stop being a creep and start listening to what the dude is saying) starts talking. “- didn’t have to do that,” Cute Mystery Man says and Ray realizes that ‘Cute Mystery Man’ is too much of a mouthful. He really needs to get a name. 

“Owh, don’t worry about it– you looked like you needed it.” Ray's eyes widen. “W-wait no– uhhh– I didn’t mean it like that, I meant-” 

“It’s okay, buddy. I got it.” Cute Mystery Man cuts off Ray’s bumbling and chuckles at the relieved look on Ray’s face. “Thank you for the coffee.” 

“No problem.” Ray extends his hand and Cute Mystery Man takes it. “Ray Palmer.” 

“Nate Heywood.” Cute Myst-, wait no, _Nate_ says and Ray beams at him. 

Cassy clears her throat behind them. “Your coffees!” 

Ray releases Nate’s hand (reluctantly) and they grab their coffees, thanking Cassy. Ray sits down at a table near the window and waves at the other seat, invitation open. Surprisingly, Nate (cute Nate with soft hands and pretty eyes) sits down across from him. (Ray doesn’t know where he built his good karma but he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth). 

“So then, Ray Palmer– do you always go around buying strangers coffee?” Nate leans back in his chair. 

“No, not always.” Ray says with a chuckle and grabs his coffee. “Why, you want to try your luck again next time?” 

“Maybe– might forget my wallet more often if it means cute doctors will buy me a drink.” Nate says with a shrug, completely oblivious to the fact that Ray’s brain stopped working. 

“I- uh what...” Ray stutters and curses the fact he blushes easily, he can feel the heat coming up to his ears. 

“At least, I assume you’re a doctor.” Nate says and Ray doesn’t quite trust his voice yet so he only nods. “Anything specific? It’s just that there are a bunch of you here, and all of you do different things. Getting kind of hard to keep track of, to be honest.” Nate states and Ray is amazed at how easy everything seems with this guy. 

“Cardiothoracic surgery– I’m a heart surgeon.” Ray manages to get out with his voice sounding close to normal. Ray counts it as a win. Nate makes an impressed face and his eyes seem to trail over Ray. Ray really hopes he isn’t imagining things. 

An almost wolfish grin comes onto Nate’s face. “So you’re good with your hands then?” 

“Well, I am this hospital's best surgeon.” Ray answers truthfully. 

“And a modest one at that.” Ray huffs out a laugh and opens his mouth to retort, when his pager goes off. Ray grabs it, setting his half drunk coffee down. 

“Shit, sorry, I have to go.” Ray is surprised that he doesn’t want to leave. 

“The hospital needs its best surgeon back?” Nate asks and Ray lets out a laugh.

“Yeah, something like that.” He stands up and grabs his coffee cup. “Enjoy the rest of your coffee.” 

Nate raises his own cup in response. “See you around, Dr. Palmer.” 

“See you.” Ray turns around and walks out of the room. Ray _really_ wishes he would.

***

It’s a cold day for October. A sharp cold wind rustles the orange leaves still attached to the branches, people wrapping their scarves around themselves for the first time again. Ray is sitting inside his office, the slowly setting sun shining through his window. He stretches and closes his file, finally done with his paperwork. A knock on his door cuts through the silence.

“Come in,” he says and starts putting away his files. 

“Hey, man– sorry, is this a bad time?” Ray’s head snaps up at the voice (that beautiful, soft but strong at the same time, angelic voice) (alright calm down Ray). 

“Nate!” Ray exclaims, a smile coming onto his face despite his surprise. “Hi– what are you doing here?”

“Came to return the favor.” Nate says with a smile (god, what a smile). Nate raises his right hand at Ray’s confused look. A coffee cup. A coffee cup from the hospital cafeteria. Ray’s insides flip. Nate moves to the desk and Ray gratefully takes the cup from him, trying to ignore how his fingers tingle when his graze Nate’s.

“Thank you.” Ray looks up to meet Nate’s gaze. “Did you really come all the way to the hospital to bring me cafeteria coffee?” A rosy color appears on Nate's cheekbones. Ray figures it must be from the weather, it really is cold today.

“I– well, no– I had my check-up. I thought I could bring you coffee before I left– to repay you.” Ray feels something in him melt.

“Thank you for the coffee– you didn’t have to, there was no debt to be paid, really.” 

“Well, you looked like you needed it.” Nate points out and a grin comes onto his face. Ray feels guilt rush into his chest.

“God, still sorry about that.” He says with a groan, breaking eye-contact and snaking a hand through his hair. His bout of guilt gets interrupted by a chuckle coming from Nate.

“It’s okay, buddy.” Nate assures and Ray feels his shoulders relax. “Long day?” Nate asks with a glance to the papers on Ray’s desk. 

“Yeah, a little– but I’m finished for the day.” Ray takes a sip of his coffee and tries to hold back a grimace. The hospital's coffee seemed worse today.

“Yeah, the coffee isn’t that great here, is it?” Nate says more than asks, amusement in his eyes when Ray meets his gaze. So much for trying to hold back.

“It’s not terrible.” Ray tries, but even his seemingly never-ending positivity can’t back this one up. 

Nate looks at him for a moment, something calculating flitting over his face. “If you want-” Nate starts, a little hesitant. “I could get you better coffee? There’s this coffee place not far from here.” 

“Oh, it’s fine– like I said, no debt that needs repaying. I’m almost off to home anyway.” Ray says with a smile. Something in Nate’s face changes, but it leaves before Ray can decipher it. A smile takes its place. Ray isn’t a fan of this smile, even though he’s not sure why. 

“Right. I’ll leave you to it then.” Nate raises his hand for a small wave and turns, walking out of the office. Ray says his goodbye, but feels himself frown. Did he do something wrong? No, he was polite and he...– Ray looks down at his coffee cup. Jesus, Ray, you’re an idiot. Before he knows it, Ray is opening his office door and looking down the corridor. He spots Nate further down the hallway, just about to turn the corner. Ray moves closer and calls out for him, startling a nearby nurse. 

“Sorry, James.” Ray apologizes and quickly moves along. Nate’s head snaps up and he slowly turns around, a confused look on his face. 

“Dr. Palmer?” There’s something guarded in Nate’s eyes and Ray curses himself for putting it there. 

“I’m sorry, I can be really oblivious,” Ray rushes out. “Did you just try to ask me out on a date?” Nate’s eyes widen and the same rosy color as before appears on his cheeks. Ray thinks that maybe it isn’t from the cold. Maybe.

“I- uhh, well...” Nate scratches the back of his head.

“Because if you are, I would really like that.” Nate’s eyes snap up to Ray’s and a slow grin breaks onto Nate’s face. 

“Yeah?” Nate breathes out. “In that case– you wanna get out of here?”

“Wait, right now?” 

“If that works with you?” 

“Yeah of course! Just let me get my stuff– I’ll meet you outside?” Nate nods and starts to turn. He halts and grabs one of Ray’s hands, giving it a soft squeeze. Ray feels that tingle again. He doesn’t ignore it. Nate is already halfway down the hall and Ray realises he’s been standing there like an idiot, staring after him. He quickly goes to grab his coat and bag, flipping off a snickering James, and rushes outside. 

Later, after the coffee date (date!), after they exchange numbers with the promise to get dinner next time, Nate walks Ray back to his car. Ray kind of feels like a teenage girl in a coming of age story, but he likes cliches, they’re cliche for a reason. So Ray presses his lips against Nate’s cold and rosy cheek, before stepping into his car and driving away. He doesn’t notice Nate’s small fist pump after he leaves, too preoccupied by the huge grin that won’t leave his face.

***

Nate moves his feet nervously. He’s staring into a bouquet and wondering if he picked the right flowers or not. The lady at the flower shop told him all about the different flowers and their meanings, but Nate can’t shake the feeling he should've picked the chrysanthemum as the center flower instead of the peony. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t find my-” Ray’s voice cuts through but trails off when his eyes land on the bouquet. Nate didn’t even realise Ray opened the door to his apartment. “... coat. You brought me flowers?” Ray asks and shit, he hates the flowers doesn’t he? Nate opens his mouth, apology ready, when a grin spreads out over Ray’s face and he takes the flowers. “No one’s ever brought me flowers before.” Ray meets Nate’s eyes and Nate prays his nervousness isn’t as obvious as he feels it is. “I love them, thank you.” 

“Oh thank god.” Nate breathes out. Ray tilts his head a little, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Did you really think I wasn’t going to like the flowers? Who doesn’t like receiving flowers, _Nathaniel_?” 

“I don’t know, I was just stressing out.” Nate exclaims and he can see that Ray is attempting to stifle his amusement. Ray isn’t very good at that, Nate can tell you. “Also don’t call me Nathaniel.” He wrinkles his nose and Ray boops it, because he’s a toddler apparently.

“Come on, I’ll put them in some water and then we can go.” Ray tugs at Nate’s hand and really, what can Nate do other than follow him? Nate closes the door behind him and before he knows it, Ray is pressing him against it, the flowers on the little entrance table. “But first, happy six month anniversary.” 

“Happy anniversary.” Nate whispers back and Ray presses his lips against Nate’s. They miss their dinner reservation, which is totally Ray’s fault. 

***

Ray is looking through the chart of his new patient when James comes hurrying towards him. 

“Whoa there– you okay, James?” Ray starts.

“It’s Nate.” James rushes out, expression grim and Ray’s blood turns cold. “He got brought in through the emergency room– he was bleeding a lot. They said he fainted in his class, he cut himself on a piece of metal that was sticking out from a shelf.” James explains but Ray can barely hear him over the ringing in his ears. 

“Where-” Ray croaks out. 

“Emergency unit, come on.” James says and leads Ray away. Ray doesn’t notice he’s passing the hallways, mind numb and body cold _and hot and cold_. He doesn’t snap out of it until he’s there. Until one of the nurses explains that theyré doing everything they can to stop the bleeding. 

“I need to go in.” Ray says and he needs to see Nate, he needs to do _something_. James is throwing him worried looks. 

“You can’t do that Dr. Palmer, you need to stay here and wait.” The nurse explains and Ray knows this and she’s just doing her job, but Ray _needs to go in_. 

“I need to-” 

“Ray-” James manages to cut through the haze and grabs his shoulder. Ray meets his gaze. “You can’t do anything right now. Nate needs you after they’re done, he needs you to be there when he wakes up again.” Something must have shown on Ray’s face, because something steels in James’s eyes. “Because he _will_ wake up. Ray.” Air rushes out of Ray’s lungs and he collapses on one of the nearby chairs. His head falls into his hands and he can feel something prick behind his eyes. He hears James say something to the nurse, but he can’t seem to focus on it, the pressure on his chest too tight. He feels a hand on his back, which travels to his shoulder. 

“Drink.” James tells him and pushes him to sit up straight. He presses a glass of water in Ray’s hands. Ray didn’t even see him leaving to get it for him. Time seems to pass without him noticing, it could rush past him or stand still, Ray wouldn't know. The only thing that he feels is James’s hand on his back and the slowly warming glass in his hands. The ringing in his ears turns to a buzz. The doors open and close and open and close, but no one with news about Nate. A couple of his colleagues come and go, checking in, staying until they have to get back to their jobs. Melanie takes over his appointments and Ray manages to thank her through his haze. The nurse returns and Ray shoots up from his seat, the buzz in his ears growing faint. 

“He’s stable.” The nurse tells him. “It was difficult due to his haemophilia, but he came through. He’s still asleep right now-” She waits a beat and looks at him. “If you can be quiet and careful, you can see him.” 

“Thank you.” Ray breathes out and James squeezes his shoulder and pushes him to follow her, which he does quickly. He walks through the door and falters. Nate’s in the hospital bed, a little pale. There’s a monitor beeping next to him, keeping track of his vitals. Ray glances at it and picks up his chart, reading it over, before taking a seat next to the bed. Ray takes Nate in. He breathes in and out, trying to ease the pressure in his chest. Nate’s okay, he’s breathing and alive next to him. Ray’s shoulders slowly relax, his jaw unclenching bit by bit. And Ray waits. Waits until way past his usual schedule. Waits until James walks in after his shift is over and waits along with him, until his partner calls him and asks him to come home and he reluctantly leaves, urging Ray to call when Nate wakes up. Ray waits and waits until his back is aching from his chair. Ray waits until Nate slowly blinks his eyes open, a little disorientated. His fingers twitch in Ray’s grip and he moves his head towards Ray. 

“Hey.” Ray croaks out, voice rough from disuse. 

“Ray?” Nate says and Ray’s breath hitches at his voice. 

“Hey there, buddy.” Ray’s hand comes up to cup Nate’s face. “You’re okay.” Nate’s breathing sounds a little ragged and his eyebrows furrow. “You’re okay.” Nate sighs. 

“Are you?” Nate asks, ever-perceptive of Ray’s moods. 

“I am now.” Ray assures and presses a kiss to Nate’s knuckles. 

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t-” Ray cuts off. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.” Nate’s eyes screw shut and Ray brushes his thumb over his cheek. “Go back to sleep, you need to rest. I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?” 

“Okay.” Nate’s face slowly starts to relax and his breath evens out, his hand squeezing Ray’s one (I), two (love), three times (you) before relaxing. 

“I love you too.” 

***

Nate slides in the key and opens the door. He and Ray step inside and Ray grabs his hand, squeezing. Nate glances over and Ray is wearing his megawatt grin, rolling on the ball of his feet with excitement. 

“Dude-” Nate starts and walks further inside, leaving Ray at the door. He turns around, arms outstretched. “We got a house.” 

“We got a house!” Ray says and bounds over to him, grabbing his hands and swinging their arms like they're in kindergarten. Nate is too happy to make fun of him for it. 

“I can’t believe we got a house. I feel so stereotypical.” 

“I guess we just want the stereotypical.” Ray rests his head against Nate’s and sighs. “We’re moving into our new house this week. The house that we’ll live in together.” 

“And Atom.” 

“And Atom.” Ray adds with a chuckle. “So you better start believing it, Nate.” Nate presses a kiss to the corner of Ray’s mouth and leans back, excited to properly move in. 

“Let’s go get our stuff.” 

***

Ray fixes his tie one last time in the hallway mirror and attempts to shake off his nervousness. 

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?” Nate’s voice comes from behind him and Ray whirls around. 

“Oh you know, getting married.” Ray says, a big smile coming onto his face and his eyes roam over Nate.

“Really?” Nate steps up to him, looking pristine in his suit. His hands move to Ray’s chest, thumbing Ray’s suit lapels. “Must be a lucky guy down the aisle.” 

“Yeah, I’m incredibly lucky.” Ray rests his head against Nate’s. Nate huffs. 

“You’re so cheesy.” 

“Say’s the guy who just asked-” Ray clears his throat. “ ‘What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this’ .” Nailed the Nate impression. 

“God, you’re the worst.” Nate laughs. “But I still love you.” 

“I love you too.” Ray presses his lips against Nate’s cheek.

“What a lucky guy indeed.” Nate breathes and kisses him, squeezing his hands one, two, three times. They break apart and move to the double doors, hands intertwined. The doors open and they walk through.

***

Late-winter snow is falling outside, but the cold doesn’t bother the two figures huddled under the covers, their breathing slow. The early morning light peeks through the curtains, falling softly on the bed covers. Nate’s eyes flutter open, stretching a little, before he feels the arm around him tighten. Ray squeezes the hand intertwined with his and shuffles closer to Nate’s back. Nate hears as much as feels the man take a breath. 

“G‘morning.” His voice still muddled with sleep. Nate turns on his back and presses his lips to Ray’s forehead. 

“Morning, Ray.” Nate takes in Ray’s relaxed face, his eyes still closed, hair tousled from sleeping. Nate feels a little bad about disrupting the image, but he can feel and hear his stomach grumble. “Breakfast?” Nate asks, but the only response he gets is a grunt. “I’ll make pancakes.” One of Ray’s eyes opens at that. 

“The gluten-free ones with blueberries?” Ray asks, already sounding more awake.

“Of course.” Nate presses another kiss to Ray’s head and shuffles out from under the covers. He grabs a sweatshirt and throws it on, moving downstairs to the kitchen. At the bottom of the stairs he hears a meow and Atom is circling around his legs. 

“ ‘Morning.” Nate is careful to step around her. “Yeah, yeah, let’s get your breakfast.” Nate fills her bowl quickly, before she can start climbing up his legs. These sweatpants are new and he’d like to keep them intact for a little longer. When Atom is content with her food, Nate moves to make the pancakes. He’s almost through his batch when a warm body presses against his back. 

“Smells good.” Ray’s breath is hot against Nate’s neck and he jerks. 

“Don’t do that, it tickles.” Nate chides. Ray chuckles and presses a kiss against his neck instead. “I’m warning you, you won’t get any pancakes.” Another kiss and Ray steps away, grabbing plates from the cupboard and setting the table. They eat most of the pancakes, Ray putting the left-overs in the fridge. Ray closes the fridge and Atom starts demanding his attention. Stupid cat likes Ray better. Nate leaves to do his morning stretches, he doesn’t have a class until the early afternoon. He’s moving into the dove pose when he sees Ray move into the room. He’s upside down but he can still see the hard lines on Ray’s face– his eyes are furrowed, mouth in a set line. 

“What’s wrong?” Nate asks and carefully uncurls. Ray’s eyes flit over to Nate. He looks like he’s taking Nate in for the first time. “Ray?” Nate stands up and moves over to Ray. “You’re worrying me here, buddy.” Ray meets his eyes and attempts a smile. It’s not all that convincing.

“Sorry, I- uhh...” Ray shakes his head. This time his smile feels more genuine. “Just a headache.” 

“Awww, I’m sorry, buddy.” Nate presses his knuckles against Ray’s head, feeling his temperature. “What can I do?” Ray grabs his hand, squeezing one, two, three times. Nate’s chest feels warm. Ray looks into his eyes and leans in, softly brushing his lips against Nate’s. “Ray?” 

“I’m okay.” Ray murmurs against his lips. “This is rea- I'm okay.” Nate tilts his head, a hand sliding up to cup Ray’s face. 

“You sure?” Something in Ray’s eyes hardens. 

“Yes.” Ray leans in again, his hands coming to rest on Nate’s waist. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Nate says, still a little worried. Ray kisses him again and Nate makes sure to help him feel better. 

***

Ray doesn’t know why, but when he sleeps he sees flashes of things that are surreal. Things like a spaceship and time travel and suits that make you shrink. He doesn’t know what to do with these dreams and when Nate asks him if he’s feeling alright, he lies and tells Nate (his husband, his husband of two years, they’ve been together for four, they live together in their home with their cat Atom and are thinking of getting a dog– his _life_ ) that he’s fine and curls up with him on the couch and they watch dumb Christmas movies. 

***

Nate looks outside at the snow and sees skin turning into steel, sees the green from the pine tree turn into a green tunnel-like stream and Nate feels a headache coming. He ignores it and smiles at Ray and makes sure to enjoy their time off together, they don’t have that much shared time off, Nate remembers, let alone a whole week. They sit around, they take beautiful winter walks, they have dinner with friends and Nate knows this. He has to, because time travel and guns that shoot fire aren’t– _can’t_ be real. So Nate smiles at Ray and kisses him softly and really, the way that makes Nate feel can’t be anything _but_ true. 

***

Ray wakes up in his room with a pounding headache and an empty feeling at the left side of his bed. He blinks a couple of times, seeing flashes of a house and a man that makes his heart flutter and a small black cat that loves to cuddle. 

“Good morning, Dr. Palmer. The Captain requests your presence on the bridge.” Gideon’s voice comes from the ceiling. Ray sits up in his bed and shakes his head. 

“Right, yes.” Ray furrows his brow. “I’ll be right there.” Ray moves to get up, grabbing some fresh clothes and trying to shake off the dream. This dream, that felt like a lifetime. This dream, that felt real, somehow. He makes his way to the bridge, already seeing the rest of the team there. He meets Nate’s eyes and suddenly his dreams come rushing back. 

“-ay? Ray?” Sara’s voice cuts through and Ray realizes he was standing at the center console, not paying attention. Ray’s glad he actually made it to the console in the first place.

“Yeah, sorry.” Ray says, moving his attention to Sara.

“I was asking if you could help Jax with some maintenance?” She asks and she tilts her head. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Ray tries for a reassuring smile. “Just a headache.” Ray has the strangest sense of déjà vu. He shakes it off. “I’ll help out Jax, no problem.” He smiles at Jax, which he returns, though there’s something calculating there too. Sara does some more announcements and Ray tries to pay attention, he really does, but his eyes keep trailing over to Nate. Nate, who is pressed close to Mick, arms tight against his. It seems like Nate doesn’t notice that he’s doing it, but Ray thinks Mick does, judging by the concerned looks he’s throwing the historian. Ray tries to pay attention, something about the timeline, but he can’t help but look over again. Nate is still huddled against Mick’s side, his own arms crossed, holding himself. Ray wonders how Nate managed to get so close to Mick in such a short time, compared to Ray who has been trying to befriend him since day one. He also wonders how every single time he glances over, Nate is already looking at him. Ray helps Jax out and he somewhat manages to act like his normal self. He looks at the time core and sees an outside fireplace in someone’s backyard and friends surrounding it after a summer’s barbecue. Jax laughs and Ray thinks of a friend, a hand on his shoulder, who laughs similar to Jax. Ray hands over a screwdriver and sees a gloved hand holding a scalpel and laser-sharp focus on the unconscious body on a table. Ray leaves when it’s clear Jax got the rest covered and thinks maybe some food will do him good. He makes himself a sandwich and a coffee and ignores a voice (a beautiful one, strong and kind and _home_ ) in his head telling him about the best coffee places they’ve been. Ray shakes his head and the food doesn’t make him feel better but it doesn’t make him feel worse either. He washes his dishes and goes to the medbay, asking Gideon for something for his headache. It doesn’t help an awful lot. Nate’s outside walking down the hallway and they both stop short at the sight of each other. 

“Hey buddy.” Nate says, but it sounds tentative, unsure, and very unlike Nate. Ray walks closer and Nate looks at him like he’s trying to figure something out. 

“Hey Nate.” Ray returns and he meets Nate’s eyes. He sees Nate with rosy cheeks in the cold, with a black cat on a couch, with his hand tangled in Ray’s, with ‘I love you’ breathed between kisses, with marks on his neck and a blissed-out look on his face, with a yoga mat thrown over his shoulder, with a faceless blob laughing that Ray thinks he calls a friend, with a hand holding his, lighting a menorah, with a suit on and vows falling over his lips. 

“You dreamt it too, didn’t you?” Nate’s voice brings him back to the present. “That life.” Ray focuses on Nate. 

“Yeah.” Ray says and it’s enough, they both know. 

“So…” Nate starts. 

“So…” Ray repeats after a beat and Nate smiles at him, a little nervous but fond all the same. 

“You want to go get a coffee? It looks like you need one.” Nate asks and Ray can’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Ray answers and he knows that it isn’t the same as their dream (dreams that seem to be fading), he knows that it won’t be, they’re not the same people as the heart surgeon and yoga instructor. But Ray thinks it will be good, he really thinks it will. When Nate smiles at him like that, it has to be.

**Author's Note:**

> chrysanthemum symbolises longevity, loyalty, joy, optimism  
> peony symbolises prosperity, good fortune, honor  
> i'm in no means trying to start a fight between the chrysanthemums and peonies. they're both beautiful flowers, nate was just overthinking shit.
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated! (though comments a lot more lol)


End file.
